what issit we ave ere then?

greetings from london humons

-- begin report --

day one:
what a strange place.. found this thingy on the ground and like now i put it in my eye. it is fun. i think it talks to me. beer makes the pain go away, like the locals, constantly hiding indoors even if there is suinshine outside in their public urban beer secreeters (p.u.b.s). i met with humon #3314, callsign kristy. had a laugh for a bit and parted. she kindly left me a blueprint diagram for the "underground", a archaic tunneled rail system. trains come every 5 mins to wherever you want.

day two:
after wasting the daytime. the time came to check progress on humon test subject #55223-1a, callsign owen. he is a faithful humon, and endlessly persues a daily ritual of ingesting large quantities of "beer". "fosters" does indeed taste different here, and many londonites actually like it. i think as owen put it best, its a hybrid between a crown larger and a vb. interesting. owen remains slightly insane, which is a good sign as i was hoping. we proceeded to drink with 2 of his humon collegues, which may warrant becoming test subjects themselves. the thingy i have placed in my eye refferes to itself as "itch". this disturbes me. i medicate myself and those humons around me with beer to try and disinfect the area.

day three:
hangover. the cure is apparently a bland greasy breakfast that has no flavour and tastes nothing like the ingredients they claim are contained within the fat wobbling on my plate. it is palletable with a lot of salt. time moves a little slower today. itch thinks it is wise to do stuff, i think otherwise. humon "kristy" invites me over for some dinner. her cooking abilities are adequate. drank wine beverages and met a "house mate", itch and i find the thought of mating with a dwelling quite strange.

day four:
today.. had a slightly greasier breakfast for no reason as for some reason itch felt like it. i think itch wants to shop, i cannot find a good reason against that suggestion. meeting up with humon #8826, callsign hong today. must wait untill the humon competes it's daily work cycle.

-- end report --

that is all.